Category Archives: Playful Practices

Making Space for Connections

Posted on April 23, 2012 | 2 Comments

Our social fabric is a most valuable asset, the invisible woven net in which we live, exert influence, find resources and collaborators, solve problems and make up what comes next.  I pay attention to people who foster ways of strengthening that fabric and want to share here a few recent experiences with people who are doing just that.

On Saturday April 14th, I gathered with about 40 other folks in my neighborhood, the Laurel district in east Oakland, CA to participate in the Laurel to Redwoods Walk led by Oakland Urban Paths.  OUP host Paul Rosenbloom and special guest, local historian Dennis Evanosky, led us on a meandering journey through our streets, introducing us to off-the-beaten-path public pathways that some of us knew nothing about, including passages between private property lines, pedestrian bridges and trails.  OUP’s mission is to raise awareness of these pathways to increase public usage and enjoyment of them and to get support for signage and maintenance that keep them accessible.  Dennis continually fed our interest with “here on this very spot” tales of Oakland’s early development by native peoples, Spanish settlers, gold miners seeking real estate, greedy lawyers, and more!

I enjoyed the exercise, the adventure and the history.  But what thrilled me most was the way connections formed during this hike.  I noticed this in several ways. A few times, as our serpentine group stretched along sidewalks, we inspired curiosity and connection. People came out on their porches calling out “Who are you?” and we replied “Come with us for a hike!”  In an improvisational moment, one man even ran inside to get his hat and joined us.  Gerald, owner of Scheberies Used Cars, paused to talk with the group as we followed the path next to his chain link fence.  His business has been there since before 580 was built! As we walkers warmed up to each other, making introductions and falling into stride with different companions, our conversations deepened.  I participated in problem-solving discussions about how to slow traffic on the 35th Avenue hill and how to get trails and bridges in the redwoods fixed after the winter’s rains.  I’m sure there were many other productive threads that I never witnessed.  It was heartening to sense how this random group of people on a hike was so naturally creative and willing to serve this place we love living in.  I want to celebrate Paul and Oakland Urban Paths who so obviously make space for connecting people to the land, to history, to each other and to our future.

A week later on April 21st I attended the business launch party for BASE Landscape Architecture, owned by my fun and talented clients, Patricia Algara and Andreas Stavropoulos.  Even after years of being a networker, I find it challenging to walk into a room packed with people I don’t know.  I explored their office digs, got a glass of wine, and discovered the Zome in their shared workspace where I settled in.  (Patricia and Rob Bell construct these beautiful, whimsical wood structures that are a regular feature in Burning Man’s desert landscape.)  Benches with pillows lined the inside making an inviting space for quietly taking in the visual and energetic aesthetic and/or connecting with the people next to me.  There just is something about sitting in a circular space that facilitates ease of connection.  I leaned on the cushions to take in the ceiling, was entertained by two lively musicians, and had an engaging conversation about economics, organizational behavior and the self-organizing system we call the Internet.  I also heard a story about how the Zomes at Burning Man “create a space in the middle of the desert and everyone inside is like at a cocktail party.”  Andreas, Patricia and Rob understand how to make space for connections through building the kinds of environments we humans need to relax and engage.

As a final thought…

I notice that making the space for connections means slowing down our pace, at least a bit.  If you want more and better relationships, teamwork, and community in your life, work, and neighborhood, take the time to make space for connections.

Happy Earth Day!  Nika

Nika Newcomb Quirk, MBA PhD
facilitating the emergence of systems savvy, resilient, artful, and collaborative leadership
NikaQuirk@mac.com
+1 510-381-5350
facebook: nika quirk
linked in: nika quirk

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Posted in Entrepreneur, Innovation, Leadership, Playful Practices, Sustainable Living

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Play with your Food – “plop” go the raspberries

Posted on June 6, 2011 | Leave a comment

It’s June here in the San Francisco Bay Area and there’s a tropical feel to the air. We’ve gone from a cold late spring into an early June of weird steamy atmosphere.  I’m a little peevish because I moved here decades ago partially to escape the “dripping wet under the armpits” humidity of East Coast summers. But, you know, there’s always a silver lining – the raspberry bushes are loving this weather!  With two beehives tending to their pollination, lots of moisture and overcast sun, the bushes in our garden continue to be heavy with beautiful, bumpy purple fruit.

In early afternoon today, I decided I needed some centering before immersing my mind in the process of dissertation editing.  So, I went out to play in the garden.  I said hello to the new crop of half-inch worms in the worm box, added our kitchen scraps to the compost, shared some of the more delectable scraps with the chickens, scratched my cat Bitty’s belly, and then turned my full attention to berry-picking.

Fully ripe raspberries, ones that are almost all juice held together by a delicate skin, are just waiting to “plop”.  Looking closely, you can see how gravity is pulling the juicy weight off the stem, loosening it for freefall.  With my berry bucket’s ribbon around my neck, I have both hands free for berry-catching.  I wade into the bushes carefully and gently move bright green leaves aside so I can catch sight of the sweet gems they hide.  About every ninth berry goes straight into my mouth, providing an eye-closing moment of sheer delight.  I pick berries with one palm underneath, encouraging them with my other hand to drop without squishing.  As I’m pulled into the flow of wading-revealing-plopping, I flash on an early memory of my relationship to berries.  I’m about 4 years old and strawberries give me a belly rash so when my sisters take me to the big wild strawberry field, I’m strictly told to Pick but not to Eat.  I learn the secrets of berry-hunting from them but I cannot resist the sweet rewards!  By the time we leave, my face, hands and t-shirt give evidence of my happiness and I walk home already scratching at my tummy.  Smiling at how little I’ve changed in some ways, I finish filling my little bucket and head into the kitchen to store my harvest.

The deeper I go exploring into the nature of collaboration, the more I realize the importance of our recognizing our relationships to everything in our world.  If we can see our own collaborative relationships in tending bees that nurture and feed from berry flowers that in turn “plop” fruit into our hands, we are more prepared to create and participate in the flow of human systems.  We are in no way estranged from the world in which we live.  We only need to open ourselves to the truth of our connection.

From me to you with joy, Nika

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Posted in Playful Practices, Sustainable Living

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Playing with Shared Power

Posted on February 1, 2011 | 2 Comments

We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness – Thich Nhat Hanh

Sharing power is an ongoing human dilemma that is rising to critical priority in this century because of increasing planetary, economic and social pressures beyond historical precedent. In his recent State of the Union address, U.S. President Obama called repeatedly for unity of purpose and cooperative practice to “win the future”.  Listening to him triggered my ongoing questions about how we move a nation of individualists into successful, skillful collaboration with each other.  My longtime curiosity about this has become my all-absorbing focus in both my research and professional practice.

My experience indicates that playing together helps us to explore and learn about sharing power, and I’ve made this the core of my approach to cultivating teams. Moving, artmaking and storytelling as a group and in pairs provides an opportunity to step out of competitive or emotionally laden life and work scenarios, and play with power.  When we step back into our daily contexts, we can bring along insights and alternative patterns that seed and nurture more cooperative behaviors and relationships.  After all, Daniel Goleman advises in his book Social Intelligence, “Nature [in the form of our primate social brain] tends to foster positive relationships” and “even among complete strangers, a moment of playfulness, even outright silliness, forms an instant resonance.”  But, in the U.S., play (of this artful sort) is more often than not viewed as frivolous and merely entertaining, not a valid element in the formula for creating productive and successful leaders and contributors in the workplace.

Follow the leader(s)

“Play isn’t a character defect; it’s the builder of character, developing persistence, competence, mastery and social skills that take us beyond perceived limitations” (Joe Robinson in the Huffington Post).  Two weeks ago in London, I led a group of consultants, artists and activists through a morning of following and leading, pausing occasionally to process and learn from their experiences.  Collaboration emerges from the interplay between individual power and collective power. Grounded in confidence from knowledge of our inner authority, our power to choose and act, we are readied to face the uncertainty of interacting with the will and ideas of others.  We test our expectations and limitations about group performance.

Creating a shared story

Many participants in this group, as in others I’ve led, commented on their enjoyment of finding an ease-filled active space between leading and following, where shared leadership emerged without strain or confusion.  For some, it was an uncommon experience or one they desired to have more of.  They expressed being tired of just leading or following, especially in their work.  For others, it was their natural approach to life.  Pouring the composite power of partners or the group into this space between, possibilities are seemingly infinite and innovation sparks.  And did I mention it was Fun? Faces lit up, bodies were alive and the energy in the room was palpable.  Out of playing with shared power, we can learn to reap the full harvest of inspiration, learning, creativity and healthy community needed to evolve sustainable organizations.

Know a team that wants to collaborate better and has the willingness and courage to Play with Power?  Workshops and longer term consulting support available.  Contact NikaQuirk@mac.com or 510-381-5350.

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Posted in Arts and Organizations, Dealing with Change, Entrepreneur, Innovation, Leadership, Playful Practices, Power, Sustainable Living

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I will follow you…

Posted on January 9, 2011 | Leave a comment

Have you seen the YouTube of solo jumping dancing guy who eventually inspires the entire crowd? One person begins to follow him, transforming him from lonely outlier to focal center. Leadership is esteemed; followership, though undervalued, can shift reality. Seems to me that the art of following deserves some attention as a skill for the changing landscape of life in this time.

Sitting here at Julie’s Tea in Alameda CA over an elegant Sunday breakfast tray, I’m designing the workshops I’ll lead in the UK over the next two weekends. Follow, Lead and In-Between: I mull over the options for content and structure How will we learn to follow each other? How will I describe what I know so well – the mysterious connective tissue that seems to grow between us when we wholeheartedly follow each other?

As I sip this cup of black lavender tea, I recall a moment in my own learning about following. As a woman born into no money or influence, I worked hard to be seen, heard and recognized as a leader with a credible voice. Sitting in a women’s group, a wise member told me to “step back into the circle.” I learned to listen and follow what arose from those gathered, and to recognize when what I had to offer lent clarity, strength or creativity.

Sometime today, I encourage you to take a breath and relax into following some pattern you notice. The pace of someone walking in front of you. A child’s zigzagging run or playful storytelling. Your friend’s ideas about what you could do together. Lean into following, and see what happens.

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Posted in Dealing with Change, Entrepreneur, Leadership, personal growth, Playful Practices, Reinventing Self, Sustainable Living

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Practicing Discipline

Posted on April 9, 2010 | Leave a comment

Do you struggle with discipline? I do, and have all my life. With a strong fear of losing my freedom and an equally strong avoidance of dreariness, I defined Discipline as “chaining myself down” to a repeated pattern of activities or tasks. Thus equating it with burdensome drudgery. Many of my clients have shared with me their aversion to discipline, wanting to achieve their goals and yet bumping up against this barrier time after time.

Both being self-employed and developing my PhD dissertation have required that I face the hurdle of discipline again. I’ve had to step up and I’ve found that both belief and behavior must change. I now define Discipline as ” the intentional practice of applying my resources to make my dreams and goals real”. I laugh as I schedule “butt in the chair” time that recently resulted in finishing my PhD proposal and my Quickbooks data entry. I laugh but it works!

If we are leaders in our own lives, then clear intentions, values, priorities, choices and actions are how we practice leadership. Discipline is a mindful practice of grounding that clarity to make our lives and our world. Whatever we tend – gardens, children, projects, etc. – we must come back and invest ourselves continuously. We must say yes to discipline.

Enjoying life,
Nika

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Posted in Entrepreneur, Leadership, personal growth, Playful Practices

Still.Silent.Simple.Now

Posted on April 5, 2010 | Leave a comment

Life has been flowing strongly and I’ve been completely caught up in the tumbling froth. This past week, swirls and currents quieted, and I’ve coasted along in relative stillness. I’ve yearned to come back here and write in this simple form.

I like complexity, the rich dark chocolate of existence. And as time passes, I have re-learned to love simplicity as both relinquishing of the complex and embracing of mindful singularity.

Preparing for this morning’s free Monday tele-fun call, I realized that I wasn’t up for leading anything complicated. This could be simple. We could dig down and wallow around in the simplicity of stillness, silence, connection in the fullness of the moment.  It was so wonderful to release my cleverness.  What did we do together that was so simple?

Breathe and sigh. (Repeat throughout)

Put palm tenderly to your own cheek.

Stretch to the edges of your space, and then beyond the boundaries.

Hug yourself and recall all the embraces of a lifetime. Snuggle down and rest.

Share your experience in a few words.

Hold up your palm in silent witnessing.

As the Shaker hymn tells us, Tis a gift to be simple.  As our times become increasingly complex, we benefit from learning to give that gift freely, to ourselves and others.

With joy,

Nika

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Posted in personal growth, Playful Practices, Reinventing Self

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Wheeeee! We’re Alive! – Dancing in our fire

Posted on February 8, 2010 | Leave a comment

Whoah. Mmmmmm. This morning’s free weekly tele-fun call just ended. I’m a little awestruck by both the gathered power of 11 women crackling and blazing in the virtual realm and the experience of conducting that powerful connection. For me, it felt like twirling fire.

We forget our power. We abuse our power. We give our power away. Now it’s time for us to have and use our power with integrity and connectedness. Our power fuels our actions as we step into purpose and make the life, and the world, we want to live in. This morning, we performed a fire dance that ignited the glowing coals of individual liveliness. Here’s how:

  • Warm yourself up – breathe, stretch, shake, breathe noticing how big you are, move around the room
  • Get the fire going – breathe in and out 4-5 times forcefully through your pursed lips, pushing the breath with your abdomen
  • Fire breathe into your cupped hands, feeling the warmth of your power
  • Now do your fire dance for 2 or 3 minutes, exploring the full range of your powerful self from glowing coal to crackling bonfire.
  • Find an ending to your dance and fill the warmth pulsing in you.

Spend some time noticing, writing, drawing about this experience. You might also explore these questions:

  • What’s one important way for you to keep your power present within you?
  • What will you use your power to take action on today?
  • Who are you sharing power-with as you take action? How will that happen?

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    Posted in Leadership, Playful Practices, Reinventing Self

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    Wheeeee! We’re Alive – Lighten up!

    Posted on January 11, 2010 | 2 Comments

    There’s a lot we might feel concerned about in our lives, and in our world right now.  It’s good to be awake, paying attention, and feeling compassion for ourselves, others, and our planet.

    It’s also good to take a break, let go and lighten up! This morning, participants on the free Wheeeee! tele-fun call gathered up their concerns, danced on behalf of them, and then released them into the morning light.  Letting go is an act of self-care.  Letting go doesn’t mean that we are selfish or don’t care.  Letting go gives us the breathing space necessary to continue to care and to find the energy to take action on behalf of what we care about.  If we don’t find ways to release our overwhelmed state, we risk burning out and no longer having the energy to pay attention or care.

    Try what we did this morning…

    • Breathe and sigh deeply; stretch and breathe again

      Got concerns???

    • Put your palm on your forehead.  If your mind has concerns, let them flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.
    • Put your palm on your throat. Let your concerns about speaking your truth flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.
    • Put your palm on your heart. Let your concerns about those you love flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.
    • Put your palm on your belly. Even if you can’t name the concerns in your gut, let them flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.

    Holding your concerns with respectful attention, lift your palm and let it dance. Let your hand move you around the room. Dance on behalf of all the concerns your hand now holds.  Open your palm wide, move your fingers, and sense the concerns dancing right out of your hand and into the light around you.  Let your hand lighten up – notice the lightness in your hand, body and mind.

    Journal about what you notice from this experience.

    Breathe and sigh……..and be well.

    Nika

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    Posted in Dealing with Change, personal growth, Playful Practices

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    Wheeeee! We’re Alive: What’s Love got to do with it?

    Posted on January 4, 2010 | 2 Comments

    What’s Love got to do with it? Everything. Here’s 5 things I learned from the participants in this morning’s free Wheeeee! tele-fun call:

    1. Children spread love more than they spread sniffy noses and coughs.
    2. Simple signs, like breathing into our palms or hugging ourselves, are profound and necessary evidence of self-caring.
    3. To receive the love we are worthy of takes the courage to make eye contact.
    4. Love is everywhere and intangible; we have to notice and name it for ourselves.
    5. Slowing down makes the space for love.

    Love is the “fire in the belly” that fuels our human lives.  As we create our visions of a desired future, let’s make love the material from which we construct it, the adhesive that bonds it all together, and the energy that flows through it.  What would happen if we replaced fear and worry with openness, interested curiosity, caring and a desire to make a healthy and purposeful life possible for all?  What might be possible if we switch from finding problems to fix to passionately making together the future we really desire?

    Isn’t Love the real work of our time?

    How will love be present in your life this week?

    With loving kindness,

    Nika

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    Posted in personal growth, Playful Practices

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    Wheeeee! We’re Alive – Dancing like it’s 2010

    Posted on December 21, 2009 | 5 Comments

    A Merry Solstice to All! One of my favorite InterPlay forms is DOBO (Dancing On Behalf Of) and in this morning’s Wheeee! tele-fun call, we danced on behalf of where we will invest our attention and energy in the coming year.

    The Winter Solstice marks the darkest day of the sun cycle and like the new moon, it’s an opportunity to reflect and then hit the “Reset Button” on our lives through intentionality and action.  We humans are creatures of energy and since we are gifted with discernment and higher consciousness, we can invest our energy in making stuff happen locally, in our lives and communities, and in positive support of what we want to transform in our world.

    Are you ready to Dance On Behalf Of 2010?

    Here we go…putting your left hand in the air, take a breath and sense the connection to your visionary right brain.  Breathe into that connection until it feels clear and strong.  Now notice your hand’s response to that connection – moving, dancing, shaping, finding stillness.  Breathe and sigh again, relaxing into the dance and lightly noticing – you might visit places, people, ideas.  Allow any sounds that arise to have voice.  After a minute or two, find a place of stillness to end.

    Journal to reflect and gather up your experience.  Finish your journal entry with a 3-sentence story or by drawing an image.

    Now, to ground this vision in the current moment, write down what you are dancing on behalf of this week.

    And there’s nothing quite like the power of being witnessed, so I recommend that you communicate this intention to someone you know.  Call them up. Have a cup of tea together. Email them if needed.  Just make your statement out loud to another human being.  To Change Our Lives, We Have To Change Our Practice!

    And lastly, I offer a Wordle of all that this morning’s Wheeeee! participants are dancing on behalf of in this new year.  Enjoy!


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    Posted in Dealing with Change, personal growth, Playful Practices, Reinventing Self

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