Tag Archives: change

“Everything Must Go!”

Sometimes, life happens.  Then again, at all times, Life happens.  

This blog post was drafted way back in early January 2013 but, reading it today, I decided to post it anyway, and just add an update.  Here goes…

R1-03231-0003Did time end and kickstart again on December 21, 2012?  Hard to say, although many have said much on the topic.  Some events are at a scale too big or too small for we humans to intellectually grasp and interpret, and perhaps here, in these first few breaths of 2013, we might just surrender to that.

I’ve lived through so many pronouncements of end times (including being taught to hide under my desk on a pile of books in case of nuclear attack) that I don’t have a strong reaction to them anymore. Life goes on the day after.  What I do pay attention to is more subtle, and I sense, more powerful.  I notice and respond to what is shifting and emerging in me and the interconnected world I live in.

So, what was I up to from December 22 through January 1?  Well, I actually thought I was giving myself a writing retreat.  Housemates were traveling and paid work was done for the year so I delightedly anticipated a spacious, creative playdate with myself.  Little did I know that the one line entry in my journal stating “Clean up office and desk” would be the central focus of my retreat.

Some might wonder what the big deal about this was.  Why didn’t I spend a day, or even two, cleaning stuff out and then go on with the more creative aspects of my plans?  I too wondered this over the first few days, but this opinion clearly came from the energetic aspect of me that is always about “doing”.  (I firmly stand in the non-dualist perspective and I experience the complexity of Self.)  My intention of having a personal retreat empowered me into just “being”, and that changed everything.  While other people were holiday shopping, I was staging a very personal “Everything Must Go!” blowout.

From today’s perspective, some two months later, that de-cluttering made big space for what I want more of in life.  And while the above blog post was sitting here unpublished, that’s where I was – out having new experiences. And…I committed to the big project of writing a book (and some articles and book chapters) this year and getting published.

One of the insights that came clear to me just yesterday is that I yearn for more expression not based on written words. So, I’m letting this written blog go quiet, at least for awhile, while I launch into creating and publishing content on my YouTube channel

Be well and find your own ways of Making Up What Comes Next!

Nika

Crossing Boundaries, or Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?  To explore the territory in between.

As I was out for a long walk one morning, I mused about what it actually means to be the chicken crossing boundaries.  Living with a flock of chickens in our backyard, I’ve come to believe every bird has a different motivation.  One might be intrigued by the possibility of visiting (or moving to) the forbidden other side, while another might be excited by the risk of traveling through dangerous territory to get there.  One might seek the goal of freedom or better pastures.  I’ve been personally motivated in all these ways in the past.  But I’ve discovered that my core motivation has long been to explore the space in-between here and there, this and that, and to invite others into bridging across the unknown to connect with what is considered opposite or excluded.

“Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it.” – Pema Chodron

How is it to practice in that tension between attraction and not knowing?  My life has shown me that this is the substance of daily living, the actual experience of presence and engagement with the endless possibilities that open before me. And it takes me great strength to dwell there, centered on breath and grounded feet, open and boundaried heart, knowing what and how I know, learn and serve. Just as in exploring forestland, I expand peripherally, listen keenly, and find a way of moving through the complexity with varied steps and speeds, aware of every moment’s choosing.

Without Blinking

Practice means learning from life instead of being bounced around by it. Once you know the worst isn’t going to run you over, you can look the world in the eye without blinking.  - Krishna Das in The Sun (March 2011)

Times of great change invite us to discover our practice as EveryDay Leaders.  How will I approach each day, each person, each joy or fear?  I often ask my coaching clients to tell me what brings them back to center – breathing, a walk, a cup of tea, chocolate? Knowing and using these tools is essential to in-the-moment practice, creating a foundation of calmness and clarity.  In my experience, practicing compassion and surrender also deepens my ability to hold the paradox of what is and what is possible, supporting me to lead my life from my loving, joyful, creative center.  I believe this opening to love and creativity is essential to leadership development in these times.

What does it take to look the world in the eye without blinking?  Coming across Krishna Das’ words today, I felt such strong resonance of truth.  Earlier in life, I was “bounced around”, often quite dramatically.  Always curious, I discovered many teachers and many ways of designing a reflective life practice, an approach to both learning and developing trust in myself and something greater that unconditionally loves me.  Last November, I got bounced again, this time through being injured in an auto collision (the first in decades).  After the initial shock and swelling subsided, the real healing opportunity surfaced.  Something sculpted into the articulation of bones and muscles in my upper body began to shift. Working with my chiropractor, I stand, move, breathe more freely.  Reflecting in my journal, I called this releasing the “cringe”, a fearful recoiling from anticipated anger, rejection, danger learned in my childhood environment.  Through the years, I had layered calm and relaxation in myself, attempting to soothe these core somatic responses.  Now, I’m deeply changed and sense that a cage has fallen open and away from my heart.  Friends, clients and co-workers tell me I appear radiant, like I’ve just fallen in love.  I have, in a way. I’m lovingly looking “the world in the eye without blinking.”

Discover and embrace your practice. Find the courage and the partners to do the work of releasing your fears.  Lead your life with love and creativity.

With an open heart I remain your Quirky Auntie,

Nika

What’s your evolutionary strategy?

“Realistic” people who pursue “practical” aims are rarely as realistic or practical in the long run of life as the dreamers who pursue their dreams. – Hans Selye

As it’s the beginning of the year, I find myself defining and discussing strategy in many aspects of my life and work.  Entrepreneur clients working with me as a business coach want to figure out how to make 2011 a better year.  My housemates and I regularly fall into co-imagining (and drooling over) what we’d like to produce in the garden this season.  Headed into the final production of my PhD dissertation, I’ve been assessing how I can bring an artful and practically successful approach to reviewing mounds of data and articulating what’s essential, meaningful, wonderful.  The non-profit board I lead works collectively to shape a sustainable path that supports the organization’s long-term benefit to human life and social change.

The word strategy tends to bring business and/or military contexts to mind.  But I’m attracted to this definitionan adaptation or complex of adaptations (as of behavior, metabolism, or structure) that serves or appears to serve an important function in achieving evolutionary success. Strategy is about learning and changing. It’s a process of reflecting on factual and experiential intelligence, evaluating success, imagining possibilities, and forging these combined insights into a plan of action that we sense has the potential for greater success.  Through strategy, we adapt consciously with an orientation to our values, desires and dreams.

Organizations make large investments in strategic planning.  But, in working with EveryDay Leaders, I find that strategy is overlooked or seen as a mystifying process for which people are unsure they have the time. “Who me? Have a strategy? That’s someone else’s job. I’m not big or important enough!”  So many of us live immersed in the streaming river of our experience, rarely mining the learning through which to shape ourselves, our endeavors, and our human future. And yet, right now, our adaptation to the ever-more-apparent-Big-Changes-on-the-planet is the main work at hand.

I hope you really grasp how important you are in the bigger picture of “making up what comes next”. I eagerly invite you to step into leadership, into active engagement with yourself, your life, and your environment. Know your fears but don’t sink to their level. I challenge you to create an evolutionary strategy. Yes! This is tough and worthy work! Take the time to honestly reflect, alone and with others, on a regular basis. Combine the factual and the imaginal to see yourself, your work, your family and community, your environment (both natural and human-made) – in 5, 10, 20 years. Believe in a satisfying and joyful future.  Take action on adaptations – what you can do now that contributes to both current and evolutionary success. I’m right there with you.

Namaste, Nika

Playing with Shared Power

We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness – Thich Nhat Hanh

Sharing power is an ongoing human dilemma that is rising to critical priority in this century because of increasing planetary, economic and social pressures beyond historical precedent. In his recent State of the Union address, U.S. President Obama called repeatedly for unity of purpose and cooperative practice to “win the future”.  Listening to him triggered my ongoing questions about how we move a nation of individualists into successful, skillful collaboration with each other.  My longtime curiosity about this has become my all-absorbing focus in both my research and professional practice.

My experience indicates that playing together helps us to explore and learn about sharing power, and I’ve made this the core of my approach to cultivating teams. Moving, artmaking and storytelling as a group and in pairs provides an opportunity to step out of competitive or emotionally laden life and work scenarios, and play with power.  When we step back into our daily contexts, we can bring along insights and alternative patterns that seed and nurture more cooperative behaviors and relationships.  After all, Daniel Goleman advises in his book Social Intelligence, “Nature [in the form of our primate social brain] tends to foster positive relationships” and “even among complete strangers, a moment of playfulness, even outright silliness, forms an instant resonance.”  But, in the U.S., play (of this artful sort) is more often than not viewed as frivolous and merely entertaining, not a valid element in the formula for creating productive and successful leaders and contributors in the workplace.

Follow the leader(s)

“Play isn’t a character defect; it’s the builder of character, developing persistence, competence, mastery and social skills that take us beyond perceived limitations” (Joe Robinson in the Huffington Post).  Two weeks ago in London, I led a group of consultants, artists and activists through a morning of following and leading, pausing occasionally to process and learn from their experiences.  Collaboration emerges from the interplay between individual power and collective power. Grounded in confidence from knowledge of our inner authority, our power to choose and act, we are readied to face the uncertainty of interacting with the will and ideas of others.  We test our expectations and limitations about group performance.

Creating a shared story

Many participants in this group, as in others I’ve led, commented on their enjoyment of finding an ease-filled active space between leading and following, where shared leadership emerged without strain or confusion.  For some, it was an uncommon experience or one they desired to have more of.  They expressed being tired of just leading or following, especially in their work.  For others, it was their natural approach to life.  Pouring the composite power of partners or the group into this space between, possibilities are seemingly infinite and innovation sparks.  And did I mention it was Fun? Faces lit up, bodies were alive and the energy in the room was palpable.  Out of playing with shared power, we can learn to reap the full harvest of inspiration, learning, creativity and healthy community needed to evolve sustainable organizations.

Know a team that wants to collaborate better and has the willingness and courage to Play with Power?  Workshops and longer term consulting support available.  Contact NikaQuirk@mac.com or 510-381-5350.

Wheeeee! We’re Alive – Lighten up!

There’s a lot we might feel concerned about in our lives, and in our world right now.  It’s good to be awake, paying attention, and feeling compassion for ourselves, others, and our planet.

It’s also good to take a break, let go and lighten up! This morning, participants on the free Wheeeee! tele-fun call gathered up their concerns, danced on behalf of them, and then released them into the morning light.  Letting go is an act of self-care.  Letting go doesn’t mean that we are selfish or don’t care.  Letting go gives us the breathing space necessary to continue to care and to find the energy to take action on behalf of what we care about.  If we don’t find ways to release our overwhelmed state, we risk burning out and no longer having the energy to pay attention or care.

Try what we did this morning…

  • Breathe and sigh deeply; stretch and breathe again

    Got concerns???

  • Put your palm on your forehead.  If your mind has concerns, let them flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.
  • Put your palm on your throat. Let your concerns about speaking your truth flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.
  • Put your palm on your heart. Let your concerns about those you love flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.
  • Put your palm on your belly. Even if you can’t name the concerns in your gut, let them flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.

Holding your concerns with respectful attention, lift your palm and let it dance. Let your hand move you around the room. Dance on behalf of all the concerns your hand now holds.  Open your palm wide, move your fingers, and sense the concerns dancing right out of your hand and into the light around you.  Let your hand lighten up – notice the lightness in your hand, body and mind.

Journal about what you notice from this experience.

Breathe and sigh……..and be well.

Nika

Wheeeee! We’re Alive – Dancing like it’s 2010

A Merry Solstice to All! One of my favorite InterPlay forms is DOBO (Dancing On Behalf Of) and in this morning’s Wheeee! tele-fun call, we danced on behalf of where we will invest our attention and energy in the coming year.

The Winter Solstice marks the darkest day of the sun cycle and like the new moon, it’s an opportunity to reflect and then hit the “Reset Button” on our lives through intentionality and action.  We humans are creatures of energy and since we are gifted with discernment and higher consciousness, we can invest our energy in making stuff happen locally, in our lives and communities, and in positive support of what we want to transform in our world.

Are you ready to Dance On Behalf Of 2010?

Here we go…putting your left hand in the air, take a breath and sense the connection to your visionary right brain.  Breathe into that connection until it feels clear and strong.  Now notice your hand’s response to that connection – moving, dancing, shaping, finding stillness.  Breathe and sigh again, relaxing into the dance and lightly noticing – you might visit places, people, ideas.  Allow any sounds that arise to have voice.  After a minute or two, find a place of stillness to end.

Journal to reflect and gather up your experience.  Finish your journal entry with a 3-sentence story or by drawing an image.

Now, to ground this vision in the current moment, write down what you are dancing on behalf of this week.

And there’s nothing quite like the power of being witnessed, so I recommend that you communicate this intention to someone you know.  Call them up. Have a cup of tea together. Email them if needed.  Just make your statement out loud to another human being.  To Change Our Lives, We Have To Change Our Practice!

And lastly, I offer a Wordle of all that this morning’s Wheeeee! participants are dancing on behalf of in this new year.  Enjoy!


Wheeeee! We’re Alive! connecting to Inner Authority

Such an honor to witness people showing up and doing deep work. Wow.  Every Monday morning at 8:30 when I leave the Wheeeee! tele-fun conference, I sit back for a moment and take it all in – the courage, laughter, willingness, shakiness, warmth.  This is what nurtures my love affair with human beings.

Today we got curious about the question What helps me prioritize? Over the years, I’ve noticed that, as the complexity of the world and the uncertainty of life became more apparent, the difficulty of discerning, prioritizing and choosing has increased. How do we know what to do, what to choose when black-and-white is replaced by a rainbow of possibilities?  Is there some internal compass we can navigate by?   Here’s a playful way to explore this:

  • Take a deep, deep breath and let it out with a sigh. Repeat.
  • Stretch your body in all directions. Shake it out. Notice what’s tense – breathe into it and relax.
  • Close your eyes.
  • There’s a place in you that knows how to choose – put your hand there now.  Trust yourself.  Breathe and connect to this place of knowing within you.
  • Raise your hand in the air and begin to move it, dancing on behalf of your inner authority, your ability to discern what your priorities are.  If there’s a sound that accompanies your dancing hand, you can let it out.  Dance for at least 1 minute.
  • Find a place of stillness and silence.  Breathe in and blow your breath out slowly through your lips.
  • Open your eyes – notice, journal, doodle.
  • What affirmation will you use this week to support your trust in your inner knowing?

[This activity powered by InterPlay]

Joyfully yours, Nika

Shopping for Social Change

How much stuff do you buy new these days? You know, I just really don’t believe in buying new anymore.  There are fabulous clothes and shoes in consignment stores.  There’s “it’ll do” stuff at thrift shops.  There’s anything you could imagine getting for free available at www.freecycle.org and often on the sidewalks of my city. I sometimes wonder: There’s so much stuff in the world already, why do we ever need to make or buy anything new again?

On Cyber Monday, the Monday after Black Friday (who made that name up for the day after Thanksgiving and what does it mean anyway?), I made what felt like a very big decision. I was going to buy a new messenger bag to carry my laptop, my files and documents, iPhone and other electronic devices through a rainy winter of consulting engagements.  Enter Google, of course – the best way I know to start perusing the marketplace.

What did I want?  Well, practically, the bag has to be big enough to carry my MacBook Pro 15.4 laptop in its protective sleeve.  No black. No 20-something real bike messenger styles. Something durable. But Quirky Auntie is a fun kinda gal and she immediately added criteria to my list – colorful, unusual, fun.  And the EveryDay Leader in me demanded that I make this purchase based on my strongly held values.

“Mac 15.4 laptop bag, recycled materials” was my first Google search.  All right! It’s amazing what materials ingenious people around the world are using to make messenger bags – for example, recycled leather jackets, used bicycle tires and tubes, used rice sacks, auto upholstery from wrecked cars.  Changed “recycled materials” to eco-friendly and a whole new list of bags for purchase show up, mostly made of organic cotton, hemp and other materials.

Off and on, for two days, I whipped the search engines to a frenzy looking for just the right bag with the right price.  On Cyber Monday (which I was not aware of as a premium day to make a tech-related purchase), I discovered an awesome bag at Urban Junket but couldn’t quite come up with the $121 price on sale.  The search continued.  I must have visited a dozen sites.  Finally, I found Gnana.  This was the place! This company merchandises laptop bags made by village women artisans in India using their local fabrics, embroidery and crystals. Each bag is very individual and has wonderful capacity to hold everything I want to put into it, plus handles and a reinforced shoulder strap.  And OMG the Cyber Monday price is $55 USD plus shipping!

Ecologically sound bag?  OR Socially responsible bag that supports village women in India? Both are political purchases.  I like to vote with my dollars in the marketplace.  I vacillated.  Then I hit the “Purchase” button and ordered a wonderful handloomed striped green bag from Gnana.  I’ll come back to post a picture when it arrives next week.

The BIG HOLIDAY SHOPPING SEASON (if you still buy into that) is upon us.  How will you Shop and still Do Good?

Wheeeee! We’re Alive! – Thanks and Giving

Each Monday morning since September 28, a small band of us have been breathing, sighing, singing, humming, dancing and playing with big life questions, and each other, in the virtual playspace of a teleconference call. Wheeeee! We’re Alive! is my weekly free gift to the community accessible by telephone from wherever you happen to be - 30 minutes of play to spark the depths and delights of being human.  One ongoing participant recently shared her experience:

…the simple exercises and reminders help me stop, listen and discover.  I have been pleasantly suprised each time to find spontaneous, authentic answers to the questions posed that I would not have found by simply thinking about them.  Thanks for helping me return to myself in ways that are easy to forget these days. (H.J. – Austin, TX)

This past Monday, we explored the question What am I ready to release? Profound responses surfaced through brief meditation and a simple hand dance. We wondered together at our realizations that possessions and life’s documentation can bog us down in “who we have been”, and even inhibit us from embracing “who we are becoming”.  Breathing to expand our physical sense of spaciousness, we considered how we can let go with the same ease as exhaling.  Anticipating yesterday’s Thanksgiving holiday, we also affirmed the cyclical connection between releasing, giving, receiving and acknowledging gratitude.

You too are invited to play! Wheeee! We’re Alive is freely given and open to everyone. Registration is simple – click here.  Keep your call-in number and PIN to join in every Monday. Calls continue into 2010. Hope to connect with you on our November 30 call.

Joyfully yours, Nika