Tag Archives: coaching

What’s your evolutionary strategy?

“Realistic” people who pursue “practical” aims are rarely as realistic or practical in the long run of life as the dreamers who pursue their dreams. – Hans Selye

As it’s the beginning of the year, I find myself defining and discussing strategy in many aspects of my life and work.  Entrepreneur clients working with me as a business coach want to figure out how to make 2011 a better year.  My housemates and I regularly fall into co-imagining (and drooling over) what we’d like to produce in the garden this season.  Headed into the final production of my PhD dissertation, I’ve been assessing how I can bring an artful and practically successful approach to reviewing mounds of data and articulating what’s essential, meaningful, wonderful.  The non-profit board I lead works collectively to shape a sustainable path that supports the organization’s long-term benefit to human life and social change.

The word strategy tends to bring business and/or military contexts to mind.  But I’m attracted to this definitionan adaptation or complex of adaptations (as of behavior, metabolism, or structure) that serves or appears to serve an important function in achieving evolutionary success. Strategy is about learning and changing. It’s a process of reflecting on factual and experiential intelligence, evaluating success, imagining possibilities, and forging these combined insights into a plan of action that we sense has the potential for greater success.  Through strategy, we adapt consciously with an orientation to our values, desires and dreams.

Organizations make large investments in strategic planning.  But, in working with EveryDay Leaders, I find that strategy is overlooked or seen as a mystifying process for which people are unsure they have the time. “Who me? Have a strategy? That’s someone else’s job. I’m not big or important enough!”  So many of us live immersed in the streaming river of our experience, rarely mining the learning through which to shape ourselves, our endeavors, and our human future. And yet, right now, our adaptation to the ever-more-apparent-Big-Changes-on-the-planet is the main work at hand.

I hope you really grasp how important you are in the bigger picture of “making up what comes next”. I eagerly invite you to step into leadership, into active engagement with yourself, your life, and your environment. Know your fears but don’t sink to their level. I challenge you to create an evolutionary strategy. Yes! This is tough and worthy work! Take the time to honestly reflect, alone and with others, on a regular basis. Combine the factual and the imaginal to see yourself, your work, your family and community, your environment (both natural and human-made) – in 5, 10, 20 years. Believe in a satisfying and joyful future.  Take action on adaptations – what you can do now that contributes to both current and evolutionary success. I’m right there with you.

Namaste, Nika

Weave and Mend – Worthy Work

Inspiration arises from all sources. Yesterday morning, I again came to the last few pages of a book I never tire of reading, Daughters of Copper Woman by Anne Cameron. Whenever I thin my library, it’s one of the books that’s been a keeper for 20+ years.  Once again, it brought me home to my core purpose, weaving and mending the society of women, the contribution of the feminine to the world, and what Cameron’s book calls our “soft power.”  Here’s a section of the book’s ending poem:

In golden light

I recognize the enemy faces
fear of our bodies
fear of our visions
fear of our healing
fear of our love
fear of sisterkind
fear of brotherkind
fear of fear

love is healing
healing is love

There are Women everywhere with fragments
gather fragments
weave and mend
When we learn to come together we are whole
When we learn to recognize the enemy
we will know what we need to know
to learn how to come together
to learn how to weave and mend

In this morning’s Wheeeee! We’re Alive free tele-fun call, we danced with what we are weaving and what we are mending in our lives.  Relationship to self, broken heartedness, connection to the divine, new ways of being -these and other patterns of human life all showed up as the shared stories unfolded.  As the poem says, “when we learn to come together we are whole.”  Women left the call having affirmed the one thing they would mend this week.
Facing our fears (those “enemy faces”) and doing our real work is, I believe, the core of human life and is accomplished in the company of others. When women take action, we make the lives and world we want.
What do you want to act on?
Six women have the opportunity to take action while being “fiercely loved and supported” in the new EveryDay Leaders tele-coaching group scheduled to start May 5. Click here for more information and the registration link.

Yours in the weaving,

Nika

Wheeeee! We’re Alive – Dancing like it’s 2010

A Merry Solstice to All! One of my favorite InterPlay forms is DOBO (Dancing On Behalf Of) and in this morning’s Wheeee! tele-fun call, we danced on behalf of where we will invest our attention and energy in the coming year.

The Winter Solstice marks the darkest day of the sun cycle and like the new moon, it’s an opportunity to reflect and then hit the “Reset Button” on our lives through intentionality and action.  We humans are creatures of energy and since we are gifted with discernment and higher consciousness, we can invest our energy in making stuff happen locally, in our lives and communities, and in positive support of what we want to transform in our world.

Are you ready to Dance On Behalf Of 2010?

Here we go…putting your left hand in the air, take a breath and sense the connection to your visionary right brain.  Breathe into that connection until it feels clear and strong.  Now notice your hand’s response to that connection – moving, dancing, shaping, finding stillness.  Breathe and sigh again, relaxing into the dance and lightly noticing – you might visit places, people, ideas.  Allow any sounds that arise to have voice.  After a minute or two, find a place of stillness to end.

Journal to reflect and gather up your experience.  Finish your journal entry with a 3-sentence story or by drawing an image.

Now, to ground this vision in the current moment, write down what you are dancing on behalf of this week.

And there’s nothing quite like the power of being witnessed, so I recommend that you communicate this intention to someone you know.  Call them up. Have a cup of tea together. Email them if needed.  Just make your statement out loud to another human being.  To Change Our Lives, We Have To Change Our Practice!

And lastly, I offer a Wordle of all that this morning’s Wheeeee! participants are dancing on behalf of in this new year.  Enjoy!


Wheeeee! We’re Alive! – it’s right in front of you

What’s staring you right in the face? was the provocative question we meditated on and danced with in this morning’s Wheeeee! call.  We noticed that:

  • we have so much body data available to us in every moment if we pay attention
  • there are people around us who we could interact with to create what we want more of
  • slowing down is a good way to see opportunities being presented to us

Wrapping up our 30 minutes together, we put our hands to the center of the circle, sending support to each other, and then splashing that supportive energy out into the world.   Did you feel it?

You too are invited to play! Wheeee! We’re Alive is freely given and open to everyone. Registration is simple - click here.  Keep your call-in number and PIN to join in every Monday. Calls continue into 2010. Hope to connect with you on our December 7 call.

Joyfully yours, Nika

Wheeeee! We’re Alive! – Thanks and Giving

Each Monday morning since September 28, a small band of us have been breathing, sighing, singing, humming, dancing and playing with big life questions, and each other, in the virtual playspace of a teleconference call. Wheeeee! We’re Alive! is my weekly free gift to the community accessible by telephone from wherever you happen to be - 30 minutes of play to spark the depths and delights of being human.  One ongoing participant recently shared her experience:

…the simple exercises and reminders help me stop, listen and discover.  I have been pleasantly suprised each time to find spontaneous, authentic answers to the questions posed that I would not have found by simply thinking about them.  Thanks for helping me return to myself in ways that are easy to forget these days. (H.J. – Austin, TX)

This past Monday, we explored the question What am I ready to release? Profound responses surfaced through brief meditation and a simple hand dance. We wondered together at our realizations that possessions and life’s documentation can bog us down in “who we have been”, and even inhibit us from embracing “who we are becoming”.  Breathing to expand our physical sense of spaciousness, we considered how we can let go with the same ease as exhaling.  Anticipating yesterday’s Thanksgiving holiday, we also affirmed the cyclical connection between releasing, giving, receiving and acknowledging gratitude.

You too are invited to play! Wheeee! We’re Alive is freely given and open to everyone. Registration is simple – click here.  Keep your call-in number and PIN to join in every Monday. Calls continue into 2010. Hope to connect with you on our November 30 call.

Joyfully yours, Nika


o v e r w h e l m e d

“I don’t think that making ourselves invulnerable to feeling any onslaught to our feelings will help us in life, ultimately. I think we only learn and grow by allowing ourselves to be really challenged by those feelings that do overwhelm us occasionally.”  - Ben Kingsley

busy-personMuch of what we were told to count on is changing or failing, and whether we embrace or reject those changes, we feel the impact because eventually we must respond.  And we actually do feel the impact to our bodies.  When income dries up – whack. When home is threatened – whack..  When fire, flood or drought puts us and all our relations in jeopardy – whack.  When we clearly see the suffering in the world – whack.   In the past few months, more than one of my
coaching clients
has used their session time to talk about how bruised they are feeling, and often, the tears flow.  They experience their lives as overwhelming, like an avalanche that swallowed them whole.  And they feel frozen, doubtful of their ability to know what to do or to take meaningful action.  “What to do? What to do?” loops ceaselessly in their minds but they have few answers and feel exhausted by the questions.

I don’t believe the “figuring it out” aspect of our minds is where we should first look to when we feel overwhelmed. The very word overwhelm holds connotations of being faced with something much bigger than we can handle, something that overshadows us physically and makes us feel small and feeble.   So I recommend that when you feel overwhelmed, take care of the body first. For example, you might:

  • breathe, breathe, breathe – give the body more oxygen and expand that tight feeling in your chest and rib cage
  • physically stretch – walk, stretch, yoga, swim to increase your sense that you are physically present and flexible
  • shake and shout – releases the built-up energetic information and clears your communication channels

Once you are physically released and re-centered, it’s time to tackle what’s got you overwhelmed:

  • write it all down – do a “brain dump” of what’s got you worried, afraid, confused, feeling that you can’t do it all
  • break big things into incremental steps – shift into your power place; look for your inner response – “I can do that.”
  • decide what you will do today – there’s always something we can do and taking action gives us confidence
  • notice what you accomplish and celebrate successes (even small ones)!!!

And lastly, recognize that much of the change that we are all experiencing is not anything that we can control.  We can only do our best to respond heartfully and intelligently.  Practice deepening your compassion, for yourself, others, the planet.  Feel the depth of what is moving you and also release it. Allow this practice to be a foundation for you in these turbulent times, supporting conscious interconnection and allowing ease where no action can be taken.

50 Quirky Things To Do – Part 1 of 5

boy and ballQ U I R K Y

  • To resonate with the uncommon
  • To follow one’s own rhythm
  • To leave unusual ripples in one’s personal wake
  • A way of changing the system through changing the patterns

Following the tradition of coyotes, clowns and court jesters, you too can, in simple quirky actions, shake up the status quo, inspire thought and even laughter, and improve your day!  In your everyday life, demonstrate how surprising, meaningful and delightful the uncommon act can be.  Here are the first 10 Quirky Things to play with:

  1. Standing in a slow line?  Hum.  The vibration will loosen your tension and everyone else’s around you.
  2. When you sense you are being looked at, turn and flash them your genuine brilliant smile.  Let your eyes krinkle.
  3. Get dressed without thinking.  Clothe and decorate yourself in whatever you are drawn to.
  4. Greet everything you meet with love in your heart.  Put your hand on your heart and notice.
  5. Whenever you hear music, move to it.
  6. Throughout the day, stop wherever you are, breathe and feel the soles of your feet on the ground.  Continue.
  7. When you sit down to a meeting or a gathering of friends, invite everyone to tell a 1-minute story about their day so far.  Volunteer to be timekeeper.
  8. Frustrated or angry?  Pour that emotion out by writing/drawing on a scrap of paper.  Rip it up and bury it in the dirt or put it in the compost. Instant transformation!  Having an argument? Pause and do this Quirky Thing side-by-side. Ever so much better…
  9. Look up ^
  10. If you get a response to your quirkiness that doesn’t feel good, shake yourself.  Other mammals use shaking as a way to relieve stress. Why shouldn’t you?   It’s like pressing the reset button on your nervous system.

Try out Quirky Things and come back to comment! What did you notice?

The Power of Alignment

“To attain inner peace you must actually give your life, not just your possessions. When you at last give your life – bringing into alignment your beliefs and the way you live then, and only then, can you begin to find inner peace.”  - Peace Pilgrim, 1908-1981

This afternoon, I visited Dr. Dannielle Mutch, a healer with truly magical abilities, at Radiant Life Chiropractic. The work I do with her is all about alignment and again today, I am awed and grateful by the release and shift we co-facilitated in me. Over the years, I’ve learned that being in alignment is more complex than just adjusting bones and muscles and the flow of breath and neurological energy.  Like everything, there’s micro- and macro- levels of alignment that are deeply interconnected.  My body’s alignment so often reflects, not only my inner state, but the state of my alignment with what I’m engaged in and with in both the manifested world and realms unknown.  I have a belief, like Peace Pilgrim, that when I am practicing what I value and believe in, then I am creating alignment at all levels.  And I also notice from daily experience that being in and taking action from alignment brings about “the good” that I intend, with ease, grace and fun.

I see this expressed in the most fascinating ways.  Yesterday, I was coaching a client by phone who had a very common misalignment that was blocking her from networking, connecting with customers, and making much needed sales.  She had not yet developed a way of speaking about her services that felt true to her and really expressed her passion and competence in her work.  So, she wasn’t speaking to anyone about her services.  I inquired about her work from several different angles, then we co-created new language for her to use in introducing herself and started to discuss how conversations with potential customers might go.  Suddenly, she said “Oh, this is so great. I’ve had this really tight spot in my chest whenever I thought about needing to talk to a client.  About 5 minutes ago, it just completely relaxed!”  There was the moment of alignment! I love witnessing that and I regularly do! I was so grateful that she experienced the physicality of that shift because I notice that those body-based realizations are powerful anchors for confident, sustained behavioral change.  From now on, she will have an embodied sense of knowing when she is authentically presenting herself in her work.

orchidEvery day for weeks now, I have been lovingly watching an orchid in my kitchen window, first grow a curving stem, then unfold it’s blossoms, one by one, orienting each bud and flower to stem, sister blossoms and source of light.  All in all, a profound and beautiful lesson in alignment.  Namaste.

Becoming Berry Bushes

Say you take a field and plow it up completely. The first species that come in – called “type one” – are weeds…Type-one species are pioneers, and we humans have been a pioneer species, going from open field to open field instead of learning how to live in one place, recycle everything, and develop symbiotic relationships.

Biomimicry expert Janine Benyus, The Sun, Sept. 09

Nestling into Saturday breakfast and coffee on the deck this morning, I read The Sun’s interview with Benyus, founder of the Biomimicry Institute whose mission is to promote imitating nature as we solve human design problems.  They run Ask Nature.org where you can query How would Nature (fill in your action statement describing what you want to do) – I asked about making cement and learned about protozoans that produce and use a protein cement to stick to rocks.

What really struck a spark for me in this article, since I’m coaching humans and not just now resolving engineering design problems, is what she says about humans shifting their strategies for ecosystem participation.  We’ve been following the weed strategy with shallow roots and seeds that blow all over, colonizing every opportunistic nook and cranny.  Benyus advises us to shift to a “type-two plant” strategy that perennials such as members of the berry family use i.e. “put down roots and hook up with other species.”  My personal strategy since the “weedy” 60s and 70s (when we who differed from tradition blew all over trying to find the utopia in which to root) has been to develop my “portable roots” – friends, skills, spiritual connection, talents, inner joy, wisdom – that sustain and are infinitely transferable.  Benyus inspires me to think of this as a transitional strategy somewhere between weed and berry bush.  And I realize that in the past year, when times have been tough in some ways, the weed in me wants to pull up those roots and blow away.  But I haven’t. I have become part of an ecosystem that I’m unwilling, and perhaps unable, to surrender.  There’s mutuality of sustenance that can’t be done without.

blackberry-bushWhat does it mean to be a human berry bush?  Visibility. Commitment. Humility. Honesty. Interdependence. Generosity. Willingness to receive. Resourcefulness. Roots that go down deep and find hidden resources even in dry spells.

Oh. Now I’ve made myself hungry for cobbler and not a berry in the house.

Later on in the day…

Another downsizing action “in the field” (yes, they continue) – I went to my storage unit:

  • sorted through everything
  • identified boxes of paper to be shredded and put them in my car
  • tagged a bunch of stuff to go in next non-profit donation pickup
  • found my basket of musical instruments!
  • decided to use my son’s old metal headboard as a trellis in the garden
  • filled out all the paperwork and moved to a smaller storage room (savings $25 per month – wahoo!)

Came home absolutely filthy and reveled in a hot soapy shower (during which I washed two bras and a pair of pants).  I’m squeaky clean but still sense that I inhaled tons of industrial motes mingled with dirt and pigeon droppings.  I’m not convinced that my Neti Pot did the trick.

Visiting my storage room reminded me that I have 6 more chairs for the dining room table that I use as a desk in my cottage.  What am I saving them for?  I still have a vision of living in a bigger house shared with other good folks where this beautiful wood table and chairs will be the center of community gatherings.  So, once again, I committed to keeping it until then.

iGoogle tells me that the waning gibbous moon is now only 98% full.  Time for the food whose smell is wafting up from the kitchen and a well-earned class of wine.