Tag Archives: personal growth

“Everything Must Go!”

Posted on March 4, 2013 | Leave a comment

Sometimes, life happens.  Then again, at all times, Life happens.  

This blog post was drafted way back in early January 2013 but, reading it today, I decided to post it anyway, and just add an update.  Here goes…

R1-03231-0003Did time end and kickstart again on December 21, 2012?  Hard to say, although many have said much on the topic.  Some events are at a scale too big or too small for we humans to intellectually grasp and interpret, and perhaps here, in these first few breaths of 2013, we might just surrender to that.

I’ve lived through so many pronouncements of end times (including being taught to hide under my desk on a pile of books in case of nuclear attack) that I don’t have a strong reaction to them anymore. Life goes on the day after.  What I do pay attention to is more subtle, and I sense, more powerful.  I notice and respond to what is shifting and emerging in me and the interconnected world I live in.

So, what was I up to from December 22 through January 1?  Well, I actually thought I was giving myself a writing retreat.  Housemates were traveling and paid work was done for the year so I delightedly anticipated a spacious, creative playdate with myself.  Little did I know that the one line entry in my journal stating “Clean up office and desk” would be the central focus of my retreat.

Some might wonder what the big deal about this was.  Why didn’t I spend a day, or even two, cleaning stuff out and then go on with the more creative aspects of my plans?  I too wondered this over the first few days, but this opinion clearly came from the energetic aspect of me that is always about “doing”.  (I firmly stand in the non-dualist perspective and I experience the complexity of Self.)  My intention of having a personal retreat empowered me into just “being”, and that changed everything.  While other people were holiday shopping, I was staging a very personal “Everything Must Go!” blowout.

From today’s perspective, some two months later, that de-cluttering made big space for what I want more of in life.  And while the above blog post was sitting here unpublished, that’s where I was – out having new experiences. And…I committed to the big project of writing a book (and some articles and book chapters) this year and getting published.

One of the insights that came clear to me just yesterday is that I yearn for more expression not based on written words. So, I’m letting this written blog go quiet, at least for awhile, while I launch into creating and publishing content on my YouTube channel. 

Be well and find your own ways of Making Up What Comes Next!

Nika

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Posted in Dealing with Change, Leadership, personal growth, Reinventing Self, Sustainable Living

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Becoming a Scholar-Practitioner

Posted on April 16, 2012 | 1 Comment

I’m back in my blog after 10 months. Like so many other aspects of daily life, blogging was crowded out by the need for me to completely immerse myself in writing the story of my PhD journey and research project, a document called my dissertation.  Last Wednesday, I completed the last perfectionist technical edits and uploaded the dissertation .pdf, submitting it to one final review by my school, California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS) and ultimately to UMI/Proquest to be published publicly.  Sometime in June or July, you should be able to use Google Scholar to search for and download it, if you are so inclined.  It’s not as dry as some academic writing and has lots of pictures, but was still largely written for an academic audience.  (Be warned!)  My dissertation abstract gives you an idea in text form of what I’ve been exploring for the last 6 years.  And the image below visually expresses this artful action inquiry process I’ve been engaged in and with.

What does being a scholar-practitioner mean to me?  I’ve always been curious and now that inclination has deepened into being an inquirer, one who lives into reflective practice, meaning making, and the continuous exploration and articulation of knowing.  Through my PhD process, I have confronted, engaged with, made sense of and integrated much of my experience of life.  I’ve processed 1000s of pages of books and articles.  I’ve made the first of my contributions to the academic knowledge base.

And here, in this blog, I’ll continue to contribute to the online conversation, sharing what I notice about how we are Making Up What Comes Next.

Encouraging you to create some good today, I remain,
Nika Newcomb Quirk, MBA PhD
Emerging Circles
facilitating the rise of systems savvy, resilient, artful, and collaborative leadership

Image

Copyright 2012 Nika Newcomb Quirk

 

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Posted in Arts and Organizations, Reinventing Self

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I will follow you…

Posted on January 9, 2011 | Leave a comment

Have you seen the YouTube of solo jumping dancing guy who eventually inspires the entire crowd? One person begins to follow him, transforming him from lonely outlier to focal center. Leadership is esteemed; followership, though undervalued, can shift reality. Seems to me that the art of following deserves some attention as a skill for the changing landscape of life in this time.

Sitting here at Julie’s Tea in Alameda CA over an elegant Sunday breakfast tray, I’m designing the workshops I’ll lead in the UK over the next two weekends. Follow, Lead and In-Between: I mull over the options for content and structure How will we learn to follow each other? How will I describe what I know so well – the mysterious connective tissue that seems to grow between us when we wholeheartedly follow each other?

As I sip this cup of black lavender tea, I recall a moment in my own learning about following. As a woman born into no money or influence, I worked hard to be seen, heard and recognized as a leader with a credible voice. Sitting in a women’s group, a wise member told me to “step back into the circle.” I learned to listen and follow what arose from those gathered, and to recognize when what I had to offer lent clarity, strength or creativity.

Sometime today, I encourage you to take a breath and relax into following some pattern you notice. The pace of someone walking in front of you. A child’s zigzagging run or playful storytelling. Your friend’s ideas about what you could do together. Lean into following, and see what happens.

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Posted in Dealing with Change, Entrepreneur, Leadership, personal growth, Playful Practices, Reinventing Self, Sustainable Living

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2011: Living and leading through interdependence

Posted on January 5, 2011 | 5 Comments

I’m going to put a stake in the ground and claim that each of us needs to add “Live more interdependently” to our resolutions this year.  Goals focused on personal acquisition are out of step with current reality.  A sustainable way of living together needs grounding in sharing and collaboration in all parts of our daily lives.

My life depends on my collaborative relationships. I’ve always been drawn to working with partners and in teams, but moving into my current cooperative household on an urban homestead has made me realize how deeply I believe in living and working interdependently.

I’ve been amazed at how many of my friends are deeply curious about how well our household works. It’s spurred me to pay attention – just what is our secret?  One fundamental element is that my housemates and I hold a shared belief that the level of attention, connection and communication we invest in our successful interdependence produces individual and collective benefit.  Together, we are productive, learn, have fun, and expand the scope of what’s possible in so many ways.  Second, we are pretty skilled at following and leading.  I notice that we all have fairly strong ideas about some things and we’re not afraid to take the initiative, but we also know how to discuss things that have group impact, respect each other’s values, follow each other’s lead and actively lend support to each other’s ideas.  I’ve had very similar experiences when working in very high functioning teams in organizations. In this kind of environment, mutual trust, connectedness and care about the group’s success grows strong through lived experience.  Joyce Fletcher, research scholar at Simmons School of Management, states in her book Disappearing Acts: Gender, Power, and Relational Practice at Work:

working to create the experience of team is leadership of a different sort. Activities…are…intended to create the background conditions in which group life could flourish.

Developing these conditions for flourishing group life is the focus of my scholarly research on leadership and my consulting work.  On January 16 in London and January 22 in Bangor, Wales, I’ll be facilitating my workshop Follow, Lead and In-Between, exploring with participants how we can gain insights and embodied experience following, leading and building connectedness in relationships.

With sincere wishes for a satisfying and interconnected new year,

Nika

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Posted in Entrepreneur, Leadership, Sustainable Living

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Let your hips lead

Posted on July 10, 2010 | 2 Comments

Joe Medina and my brain are inspiring me to walk distances. Joe, a brain scientist, wrote the recent book, Brain Rules. Rule #1? Exercise. Our ancestors developed this luscious brain walking 12 miles a day on the Serengeti; it still needs movement to stay fit.

Being a doctoral student, I sat, sat, sat. Some behavioral revisioning is due. Yesterday I circumvented Lake Merritt in downtown Oakland with buddy Gretchen Wegner, academic coach and inventor of MuseCubes. She’s walking for her brain-in-a-body like I am. We both support clients to be vital whole-brained bodyspirits.

But what about Hips, you ask? Well, as I set off for a 3 mile urban walk this afternoon, I noticed how awkward and disassembled I felt as I walked. My head was leading, chin and neck out like the chickens in our yard. I took a breath and pulled my chin back about two feet. Whoah! The tension in arms-shoulders-neck relaxed; my spine aligned. Another breath. I started hearing the middle eastern beat on my iPod and my hips began a swinging gait, easy, fluid, fun! Arms swinging, I covered lots of ground.

I wonder how often this is an apt metaphor. How often does my head try to get there first even while discombobulating the rest of me? How might that easy relational swing of hips be a better way of arriving?

Off now to complete my circuit. Enjoy your day, and maybe swing a little?

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Posted in Reinventing Self

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Weave and Mend – Worthy Work

Posted on April 26, 2010 | Leave a comment

Inspiration arises from all sources. Yesterday morning, I again came to the last few pages of a book I never tire of reading, Daughters of Copper Woman by Anne Cameron. Whenever I thin my library, it’s one of the books that’s been a keeper for 20+ years.  Once again, it brought me home to my core purpose, weaving and mending the society of women, the contribution of the feminine to the world, and what Cameron’s book calls our “soft power.”  Here’s a section of the book’s ending poem:

In golden light

I recognize the enemy faces
fear of our bodies
fear of our visions
fear of our healing
fear of our love
fear of sisterkind
fear of brotherkind
fear of fear

love is healing
healing is love

There are Women everywhere with fragments
gather fragments
weave and mend
When we learn to come together we are whole
When we learn to recognize the enemy
we will know what we need to know
to learn how to come together
to learn how to weave and mend

In this morning’s Wheeeee! We’re Alive free tele-fun call, we danced with what we are weaving and what we are mending in our lives.  Relationship to self, broken heartedness, connection to the divine, new ways of being -these and other patterns of human life all showed up as the shared stories unfolded.  As the poem says, “when we learn to come together we are whole.”  Women left the call having affirmed the one thing they would mend this week.
Facing our fears (those “enemy faces”) and doing our real work is, I believe, the core of human life and is accomplished in the company of others. When women take action, we make the lives and world we want.
What do you want to act on?
Six women have the opportunity to take action while being “fiercely loved and supported” in the new EveryDay Leaders tele-coaching group scheduled to start May 5. Click here for more information and the registration link.

Yours in the weaving,

Nika

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Posted in Dealing with Change, Leadership, personal growth, Reinventing Self, Women

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Wheeeee! We’re Alive! – Dancing in our fire

Posted on February 8, 2010 | Leave a comment

Whoah. Mmmmmm. This morning’s free weekly tele-fun call just ended. I’m a little awestruck by both the gathered power of 11 women crackling and blazing in the virtual realm and the experience of conducting that powerful connection. For me, it felt like twirling fire.

We forget our power. We abuse our power. We give our power away. Now it’s time for us to have and use our power with integrity and connectedness. Our power fuels our actions as we step into purpose and make the life, and the world, we want to live in. This morning, we performed a fire dance that ignited the glowing coals of individual liveliness. Here’s how:

  • Warm yourself up – breathe, stretch, shake, breathe noticing how big you are, move around the room
  • Get the fire going – breathe in and out 4-5 times forcefully through your pursed lips, pushing the breath with your abdomen
  • Fire breathe into your cupped hands, feeling the warmth of your power
  • Now do your fire dance for 2 or 3 minutes, exploring the full range of your powerful self from glowing coal to crackling bonfire.
  • Find an ending to your dance and fill the warmth pulsing in you.

Spend some time noticing, writing, drawing about this experience. You might also explore these questions:

  • What’s one important way for you to keep your power present within you?
  • What will you use your power to take action on today?
  • Who are you sharing power-with as you take action? How will that happen?

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    Posted in Leadership, Playful Practices, Reinventing Self

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    Wheeeee! We’re Alive – Lighten up!

    Posted on January 11, 2010 | 2 Comments

    There’s a lot we might feel concerned about in our lives, and in our world right now.  It’s good to be awake, paying attention, and feeling compassion for ourselves, others, and our planet.

    It’s also good to take a break, let go and lighten up! This morning, participants on the free Wheeeee! tele-fun call gathered up their concerns, danced on behalf of them, and then released them into the morning light.  Letting go is an act of self-care.  Letting go doesn’t mean that we are selfish or don’t care.  Letting go gives us the breathing space necessary to continue to care and to find the energy to take action on behalf of what we care about.  If we don’t find ways to release our overwhelmed state, we risk burning out and no longer having the energy to pay attention or care.

    Try what we did this morning…

    • Breathe and sigh deeply; stretch and breathe again

      Got concerns???

    • Put your palm on your forehead.  If your mind has concerns, let them flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.
    • Put your palm on your throat. Let your concerns about speaking your truth flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.
    • Put your palm on your heart. Let your concerns about those you love flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.
    • Put your palm on your belly. Even if you can’t name the concerns in your gut, let them flow into your palm. Breathe & sigh.

    Holding your concerns with respectful attention, lift your palm and let it dance. Let your hand move you around the room. Dance on behalf of all the concerns your hand now holds.  Open your palm wide, move your fingers, and sense the concerns dancing right out of your hand and into the light around you.  Let your hand lighten up – notice the lightness in your hand, body and mind.

    Journal about what you notice from this experience.

    Breathe and sigh……..and be well.

    Nika

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    Posted in Dealing with Change, personal growth, Playful Practices

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    Wheeeee! We’re Alive: What’s Love got to do with it?

    Posted on January 4, 2010 | 2 Comments

    What’s Love got to do with it? Everything. Here’s 5 things I learned from the participants in this morning’s free Wheeeee! tele-fun call:

    1. Children spread love more than they spread sniffy noses and coughs.
    2. Simple signs, like breathing into our palms or hugging ourselves, are profound and necessary evidence of self-caring.
    3. To receive the love we are worthy of takes the courage to make eye contact.
    4. Love is everywhere and intangible; we have to notice and name it for ourselves.
    5. Slowing down makes the space for love.

    Love is the “fire in the belly” that fuels our human lives.  As we create our visions of a desired future, let’s make love the material from which we construct it, the adhesive that bonds it all together, and the energy that flows through it.  What would happen if we replaced fear and worry with openness, interested curiosity, caring and a desire to make a healthy and purposeful life possible for all?  What might be possible if we switch from finding problems to fix to passionately making together the future we really desire?

    Isn’t Love the real work of our time?

    How will love be present in your life this week?

    With loving kindness,

    Nika

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    Posted in personal growth, Playful Practices

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    Wheeeee! We’re Alive – Dancing like it’s 2010

    Posted on December 21, 2009 | 5 Comments

    A Merry Solstice to All! One of my favorite InterPlay forms is DOBO (Dancing On Behalf Of) and in this morning’s Wheeee! tele-fun call, we danced on behalf of where we will invest our attention and energy in the coming year.

    The Winter Solstice marks the darkest day of the sun cycle and like the new moon, it’s an opportunity to reflect and then hit the “Reset Button” on our lives through intentionality and action.  We humans are creatures of energy and since we are gifted with discernment and higher consciousness, we can invest our energy in making stuff happen locally, in our lives and communities, and in positive support of what we want to transform in our world.

    Are you ready to Dance On Behalf Of 2010?

    Here we go…putting your left hand in the air, take a breath and sense the connection to your visionary right brain.  Breathe into that connection until it feels clear and strong.  Now notice your hand’s response to that connection – moving, dancing, shaping, finding stillness.  Breathe and sigh again, relaxing into the dance and lightly noticing – you might visit places, people, ideas.  Allow any sounds that arise to have voice.  After a minute or two, find a place of stillness to end.

    Journal to reflect and gather up your experience.  Finish your journal entry with a 3-sentence story or by drawing an image.

    Now, to ground this vision in the current moment, write down what you are dancing on behalf of this week.

    And there’s nothing quite like the power of being witnessed, so I recommend that you communicate this intention to someone you know.  Call them up. Have a cup of tea together. Email them if needed.  Just make your statement out loud to another human being.  To Change Our Lives, We Have To Change Our Practice!

    And lastly, I offer a Wordle of all that this morning’s Wheeeee! participants are dancing on behalf of in this new year.  Enjoy!


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    Posted in Dealing with Change, personal growth, Playful Practices, Reinventing Self

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