Tag Archives: Reinventing Self

“Everything Must Go!”

Sometimes, life happens.  Then again, at all times, Life happens.  

This blog post was drafted way back in early January 2013 but, reading it today, I decided to post it anyway, and just add an update.  Here goes…

R1-03231-0003Did time end and kickstart again on December 21, 2012?  Hard to say, although many have said much on the topic.  Some events are at a scale too big or too small for we humans to intellectually grasp and interpret, and perhaps here, in these first few breaths of 2013, we might just surrender to that.

I’ve lived through so many pronouncements of end times (including being taught to hide under my desk on a pile of books in case of nuclear attack) that I don’t have a strong reaction to them anymore. Life goes on the day after.  What I do pay attention to is more subtle, and I sense, more powerful.  I notice and respond to what is shifting and emerging in me and the interconnected world I live in.

So, what was I up to from December 22 through January 1?  Well, I actually thought I was giving myself a writing retreat.  Housemates were traveling and paid work was done for the year so I delightedly anticipated a spacious, creative playdate with myself.  Little did I know that the one line entry in my journal stating “Clean up office and desk” would be the central focus of my retreat.

Some might wonder what the big deal about this was.  Why didn’t I spend a day, or even two, cleaning stuff out and then go on with the more creative aspects of my plans?  I too wondered this over the first few days, but this opinion clearly came from the energetic aspect of me that is always about “doing”.  (I firmly stand in the non-dualist perspective and I experience the complexity of Self.)  My intention of having a personal retreat empowered me into just “being”, and that changed everything.  While other people were holiday shopping, I was staging a very personal “Everything Must Go!” blowout.

From today’s perspective, some two months later, that de-cluttering made big space for what I want more of in life.  And while the above blog post was sitting here unpublished, that’s where I was – out having new experiences. And…I committed to the big project of writing a book (and some articles and book chapters) this year and getting published.

One of the insights that came clear to me just yesterday is that I yearn for more expression not based on written words. So, I’m letting this written blog go quiet, at least for awhile, while I launch into creating and publishing content on my YouTube channel

Be well and find your own ways of Making Up What Comes Next!

Nika

Crossing Boundaries, or Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?  To explore the territory in between.

As I was out for a long walk one morning, I mused about what it actually means to be the chicken crossing boundaries.  Living with a flock of chickens in our backyard, I’ve come to believe every bird has a different motivation.  One might be intrigued by the possibility of visiting (or moving to) the forbidden other side, while another might be excited by the risk of traveling through dangerous territory to get there.  One might seek the goal of freedom or better pastures.  I’ve been personally motivated in all these ways in the past.  But I’ve discovered that my core motivation has long been to explore the space in-between here and there, this and that, and to invite others into bridging across the unknown to connect with what is considered opposite or excluded.

“Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it.” – Pema Chodron

How is it to practice in that tension between attraction and not knowing?  My life has shown me that this is the substance of daily living, the actual experience of presence and engagement with the endless possibilities that open before me. And it takes me great strength to dwell there, centered on breath and grounded feet, open and boundaried heart, knowing what and how I know, learn and serve. Just as in exploring forestland, I expand peripherally, listen keenly, and find a way of moving through the complexity with varied steps and speeds, aware of every moment’s choosing.

Becoming a Scholar-Practitioner

I’m back in my blog after 10 months. Like so many other aspects of daily life, blogging was crowded out by the need for me to completely immerse myself in writing the story of my PhD journey and research project, a document called my dissertation.  Last Wednesday, I completed the last perfectionist technical edits and uploaded the dissertation .pdf, submitting it to one final review by my school, California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS) and ultimately to UMI/Proquest to be published publicly.  Sometime in June or July, you should be able to use Google Scholar to search for and download it, if you are so inclined.  It’s not as dry as some academic writing and has lots of pictures, but was still largely written for an academic audience.  (Be warned!)  My dissertation abstract gives you an idea in text form of what I’ve been exploring for the last 6 years.  And the image below visually expresses this artful action inquiry process I’ve been engaged in and with.

What does being a scholar-practitioner mean to me?  I’ve always been curious and now that inclination has deepened into being an inquirer, one who lives into reflective practice, meaning making, and the continuous exploration and articulation of knowing.  Through my PhD process, I have confronted, engaged with, made sense of and integrated much of my experience of life.  I’ve processed 1000s of pages of books and articles.  I’ve made the first of my contributions to the academic knowledge base.

And here, in this blog, I’ll continue to contribute to the online conversation, sharing what I notice about how we are Making Up What Comes Next.

Encouraging you to create some good today, I remain,
Nika Newcomb Quirk, MBA PhD
Emerging Circles
facilitating the rise of systems savvy, resilient, artful, and collaborative leadership

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Copyright 2012 Nika Newcomb Quirk

 

Without Blinking

Practice means learning from life instead of being bounced around by it. Once you know the worst isn’t going to run you over, you can look the world in the eye without blinking.  - Krishna Das in The Sun (March 2011)

Times of great change invite us to discover our practice as EveryDay Leaders.  How will I approach each day, each person, each joy or fear?  I often ask my coaching clients to tell me what brings them back to center – breathing, a walk, a cup of tea, chocolate? Knowing and using these tools is essential to in-the-moment practice, creating a foundation of calmness and clarity.  In my experience, practicing compassion and surrender also deepens my ability to hold the paradox of what is and what is possible, supporting me to lead my life from my loving, joyful, creative center.  I believe this opening to love and creativity is essential to leadership development in these times.

What does it take to look the world in the eye without blinking?  Coming across Krishna Das’ words today, I felt such strong resonance of truth.  Earlier in life, I was “bounced around”, often quite dramatically.  Always curious, I discovered many teachers and many ways of designing a reflective life practice, an approach to both learning and developing trust in myself and something greater that unconditionally loves me.  Last November, I got bounced again, this time through being injured in an auto collision (the first in decades).  After the initial shock and swelling subsided, the real healing opportunity surfaced.  Something sculpted into the articulation of bones and muscles in my upper body began to shift. Working with my chiropractor, I stand, move, breathe more freely.  Reflecting in my journal, I called this releasing the “cringe”, a fearful recoiling from anticipated anger, rejection, danger learned in my childhood environment.  Through the years, I had layered calm and relaxation in myself, attempting to soothe these core somatic responses.  Now, I’m deeply changed and sense that a cage has fallen open and away from my heart.  Friends, clients and co-workers tell me I appear radiant, like I’ve just fallen in love.  I have, in a way. I’m lovingly looking “the world in the eye without blinking.”

Discover and embrace your practice. Find the courage and the partners to do the work of releasing your fears.  Lead your life with love and creativity.

With an open heart I remain your Quirky Auntie,

Nika

Weave and Mend – Worthy Work

Inspiration arises from all sources. Yesterday morning, I again came to the last few pages of a book I never tire of reading, Daughters of Copper Woman by Anne Cameron. Whenever I thin my library, it’s one of the books that’s been a keeper for 20+ years.  Once again, it brought me home to my core purpose, weaving and mending the society of women, the contribution of the feminine to the world, and what Cameron’s book calls our “soft power.”  Here’s a section of the book’s ending poem:

In golden light

I recognize the enemy faces
fear of our bodies
fear of our visions
fear of our healing
fear of our love
fear of sisterkind
fear of brotherkind
fear of fear

love is healing
healing is love

There are Women everywhere with fragments
gather fragments
weave and mend
When we learn to come together we are whole
When we learn to recognize the enemy
we will know what we need to know
to learn how to come together
to learn how to weave and mend

In this morning’s Wheeeee! We’re Alive free tele-fun call, we danced with what we are weaving and what we are mending in our lives.  Relationship to self, broken heartedness, connection to the divine, new ways of being -these and other patterns of human life all showed up as the shared stories unfolded.  As the poem says, “when we learn to come together we are whole.”  Women left the call having affirmed the one thing they would mend this week.
Facing our fears (those “enemy faces”) and doing our real work is, I believe, the core of human life and is accomplished in the company of others. When women take action, we make the lives and world we want.
What do you want to act on?
Six women have the opportunity to take action while being “fiercely loved and supported” in the new EveryDay Leaders tele-coaching group scheduled to start May 5. Click here for more information and the registration link.

Yours in the weaving,

Nika

Wheeeee! We’re Alive! – Dancing in our fire

Whoah. Mmmmmm. This morning’s free weekly tele-fun call just ended. I’m a little awestruck by both the gathered power of 11 women crackling and blazing in the virtual realm and the experience of conducting that powerful connection. For me, it felt like twirling fire.

We forget our power. We abuse our power. We give our power away. Now it’s time for us to have and use our power with integrity and connectedness. Our power fuels our actions as we step into purpose and make the life, and the world, we want to live in. This morning, we performed a fire dance that ignited the glowing coals of individual liveliness. Here’s how:

  • Warm yourself up – breathe, stretch, shake, breathe noticing how big you are, move around the room
  • Get the fire going – breathe in and out 4-5 times forcefully through your pursed lips, pushing the breath with your abdomen
  • Fire breathe into your cupped hands, feeling the warmth of your power
  • Now do your fire dance for 2 or 3 minutes, exploring the full range of your powerful self from glowing coal to crackling bonfire.
  • Find an ending to your dance and fill the warmth pulsing in you.

Spend some time noticing, writing, drawing about this experience. You might also explore these questions:

  • What’s one important way for you to keep your power present within you?
  • What will you use your power to take action on today?
  • Who are you sharing power-with as you take action? How will that happen?
  • Wheeeee! We’re Alive – Dancing like it’s 2010

    A Merry Solstice to All! One of my favorite InterPlay forms is DOBO (Dancing On Behalf Of) and in this morning’s Wheeee! tele-fun call, we danced on behalf of where we will invest our attention and energy in the coming year.

    The Winter Solstice marks the darkest day of the sun cycle and like the new moon, it’s an opportunity to reflect and then hit the “Reset Button” on our lives through intentionality and action.  We humans are creatures of energy and since we are gifted with discernment and higher consciousness, we can invest our energy in making stuff happen locally, in our lives and communities, and in positive support of what we want to transform in our world.

    Are you ready to Dance On Behalf Of 2010?

    Here we go…putting your left hand in the air, take a breath and sense the connection to your visionary right brain.  Breathe into that connection until it feels clear and strong.  Now notice your hand’s response to that connection – moving, dancing, shaping, finding stillness.  Breathe and sigh again, relaxing into the dance and lightly noticing – you might visit places, people, ideas.  Allow any sounds that arise to have voice.  After a minute or two, find a place of stillness to end.

    Journal to reflect and gather up your experience.  Finish your journal entry with a 3-sentence story or by drawing an image.

    Now, to ground this vision in the current moment, write down what you are dancing on behalf of this week.

    And there’s nothing quite like the power of being witnessed, so I recommend that you communicate this intention to someone you know.  Call them up. Have a cup of tea together. Email them if needed.  Just make your statement out loud to another human being.  To Change Our Lives, We Have To Change Our Practice!

    And lastly, I offer a Wordle of all that this morning’s Wheeeee! participants are dancing on behalf of in this new year.  Enjoy!


    Wheeeee! We’re Alive! connecting to Inner Authority

    Such an honor to witness people showing up and doing deep work. Wow.  Every Monday morning at 8:30 when I leave the Wheeeee! tele-fun conference, I sit back for a moment and take it all in – the courage, laughter, willingness, shakiness, warmth.  This is what nurtures my love affair with human beings.

    Today we got curious about the question What helps me prioritize? Over the years, I’ve noticed that, as the complexity of the world and the uncertainty of life became more apparent, the difficulty of discerning, prioritizing and choosing has increased. How do we know what to do, what to choose when black-and-white is replaced by a rainbow of possibilities?  Is there some internal compass we can navigate by?   Here’s a playful way to explore this:

    • Take a deep, deep breath and let it out with a sigh. Repeat.
    • Stretch your body in all directions. Shake it out. Notice what’s tense – breathe into it and relax.
    • Close your eyes.
    • There’s a place in you that knows how to choose – put your hand there now.  Trust yourself.  Breathe and connect to this place of knowing within you.
    • Raise your hand in the air and begin to move it, dancing on behalf of your inner authority, your ability to discern what your priorities are.  If there’s a sound that accompanies your dancing hand, you can let it out.  Dance for at least 1 minute.
    • Find a place of stillness and silence.  Breathe in and blow your breath out slowly through your lips.
    • Open your eyes – notice, journal, doodle.
    • What affirmation will you use this week to support your trust in your inner knowing?

    [This activity powered by InterPlay]

    Joyfully yours, Nika

    Becoming Journeypeople

    Stargazer Li says we are learning to “have our more vast cosmic selves and our Earth selves together with a portal between so we are living that fullness and that more dimensional experience of space and time.”

    First thing this morning I listened to the latest podcast from Stargazer Li, this one on Moon 3, a period of time we entered this past Sunday.  I’ve been following Li’s calendar, loosely, and now more deeply, for a few years.  Founded on the Mayan calendar, this spiraling pathway inspires an integral view, a new relationship with time, and profound transformation.

    Li says we are learning to “have our more vast cosmic selves and our Earth selves together with a portal betweenearth-nasa-blue-marble-photo-292x300 so we are living that fullness and that more dimensional experience of space and time.”  An expansive self-view such as this may feel overwhelming or ungraspable, yet humans have been on this learning path for ever so long.  Haven’t we?  Through art, ritual, intellectual growth, and spiritual practice we have reached for what we imagine lies beyond the mundane and tangible.  We have created religion, culture and civilization, great edifices that stretch our puny individual scale.  But haven’t we lost something along the way?  Our gratitude and respect for our bodies, the human scale, the present moment, the essential substance of the mundane?  How dependent are we on things remaining “stable” and on being “in control”? We suffer the illusion that we have the power to fix space and time, and to stop the natural cycles of change.

    This is how I interpret and apply Li’s guidance – now is the time to nourish roots and branches, hold the paradox of the mundane and the cosmic in ourselves and with each other.  Li calls this “living with the portals open.”  As leaders, we bring vision and innovation with our feet firmly planted in the dirt.  As both change makers and change receivers, we prepare to be flexible and to be journeyers into the unknown in this 21st Century, knowing what is priority to carry with us and what to shed.

    – each morning or evening, draw three columns on a piece of scrap paper or in your journal – 1) What am I grateful for? 2) What do I wish to attract/create? 3) What am I ready to let go of?   Spend 5-10 minutes completing the columns.  Don’t worry about what you said yesterday or the day before, or whether it’s all perfectly consistent.  Let these responses arise from your heart-mind-spirit-body right in your present-moment-knowing.  Daily, you will be steeping yourself in your own refining process and honing your journey skills.

    Until next time – feel free to be quirky!

    Another solar return

    “Pay attention, that’s all,” Eliza said. “Notice things. Connect what you’ve noticed. Connect it into a picture. Think of how the picture might be changed; and act to change it. Some of your acts may turn out to have been foolish, but others will reward you in surprising ways; and in the meantime, simply by being active instead of passive, you have a kind of immunity that’s hard to explain–”

    – The Confusion, Neil Stephenson

    I’m launching into this new endeavor on my 57th birthday because all my intuition, the signs and portents, won’t leave me alone.  I’ve been in this practice of re-inventing self for a lifetime already and there is a pattern.  Great chunks of reality start falling off the edifices around me, waking me up to paying close attention.  Then, things and people that I depended on for some sense of stability become undependable.  Mostly not intentionally or maliciously, they are just dealing with the cracking up of reality too, in their own way.  Then, I have to assess which of my own creations, relationships, etc. are no longer alive and relevant for me (and perhaps even holding me back from seeing what needs to be born).  And I have to let go of some or all of them.  The next part always brings me a sense of awe because it really is magical. As soon as I voluntarily surrender what’s just been taking up space, a flood of insight and creative ideas pours into that empty space.  Often, I know just what to take action on.

    Quirky Auntie’s “Sustainable Living” Room was such a gift from the universe (or wherever creativity springs from).

    Ever since I left my last corporate job in 2002, I have been downsizing my material life, focusing on surfacing and putting into practice my deeply held values, and releasing my wild, creative self from all constraints (breaking through shell after shell after shell). Whew! Challenging and worthy work.  A couple of weeks ago, I realized I was in a breakdown-before-breakthrough place, everything felt weird and out of kilter making me very scared.  I was reading Thomas Berry’s The Great Work and found direction – my life choices and daily work needed to get fully aligned with The Great Work, “the task of moving modern industrial civilization from its present devastating influence on the Earth to a more benign mode of presence.”

    So what would that look like?  I started making a list.  I want to bring joy, wisdom and practical action in these times where the old structures and ways are crumbling.  I want to support people who are “right sizing” their finances and lifestyles, and especially those who are engaged in building a new, more sustainable world.  Even though I drive a hybrid, I want to travel and pollute less.  I want the excellent quality creative coaching I provide to be affordable and accessible.  I want to be valued and economically self-sufficient.  I want to feel delight in my work daily.

    OK – off to make it so.  Need to do a business plan, invent a business model, determine a financial structure, and build a website.